James (polkaroo79) wrote in nhl2004,

A whole whack of updates...


Sorry, guess that holiday break laziness extended a bit far. Buncha games below the LJ-Cut.

First, all-star business. The All-Star game was originally scheduled for mid-February, but I'm doing a cut-off date of January 20th. Get your votes in. Thanks to those who already have :)

Second, I'll be taking another break over the next few days. Will try to post those tommorrow, since I can predict the future.

December 27, 2004: Wild 1 - Flames 2 (OT)

The Flames won a wild one after the holiday break, and Wild coach Jacques Lemaire may be getting an extended break.

Lemaire was ejected after starting a brawl with Harvey, the Flames mascot. Lemaire found the especially long tongue disturbing.

It's the second time the mascot has been involved in an altercation, prompting the league to review disciplinary action against the feisty mascot.

Marian Gaborik scored for the Wild, while Iginla scored both goals, the winner coming early in OT.

Lemaire was unavailable for comment.

December 29, 2004: Flyers 3 - Flames 0

Philadelphia brawled their way to another win, as usual. The Broadstreet Bullies beat up the Flames in a tough, gritty game.

The Flyers started a fight after every whistle, bludgeoning the hometown Flames into submission. By the end of the second period, Calgary's top two lines were gone from the game. Flyers captain Keith Primeau also took Darryl Sutter's lunch money between intermissions.

Simon (pronounced Simone, like a pansy) Gagne scored twice, and Mark Recchi added a third goal. Some guy who should last another 3 games in Philadelphia before the fans and media riot to get rid of him started in net and got the shutout.

December 30, 2004: Hurricanes 1 - Senators 1 (OT)


Sens scored late in the second, thanks to a goal from Jason Spezza. The teams putzed around for the rest of the game, until Dominik Hasek scored on himself while flapping around the crease protesting a penalty.

The crowd of 4 fans demanded their money back. One has to wonder what kind of fool pays to watch this game anyways.

December 31, 2004: Canadiens 1 - Flames 3

Montreal was left with only 8 players after many stars decided to spend the New Year's break back in Party Central, Montreal.

The Flames took advantage, thrashing the pathetic Canadiens to end the year on a high note.

Jarome Iginla scored twice, and Lanny Mcdonald (no moustache) added a late goal to seal the victory. The Canadiens lone goal came from a pity penalty, and Alexei Kovalev scored it.

Kovalev, one of the few Canadiens to bother with the trip, said after the game, "No one likes me so I didn't have any real plans anyways."

January 1, 2005: Thrashers 1 - Senators 4

The Thrashers were still hungover. How else do you explain a loss to Ottawa?

Dany Heatley opened the scoring for Atlanta, but Ottawa quickly tied the game after Atlanta was penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct after Thrasher players teased Sens star Marian Hossa about his girly name.

Hossa made them pay for it, scoring on the ensuing powerplay to tie things up, then raised his skirt and flashed the Thrasher bench.

Jason Spezza scored twice after to put the Sens ahead, and Hossa added another goal late in the game before grabbing his purse and leaving.

January 3, 2005: Sharks 3 - Flames 3 (OT)

The Sharks earned a point on the road after a late goal from Jonathan Cheechoo.

The Flames led late into the third, thanks to goals from Jordan Leopold, Chuck Kobasew and Martin Gelinas. San Jose got goals from Alyn McCauley and Scott Hannan to get back into it. Cheechoo scored with the extra man on the ice after the Sharks pulled their goalie.

I have no clue what else to say about this.

January 4, 2005: Penguins 0 - Canadiens 2

With a full roster, the Canadiens easily beat the Pittsburgh Penguins, 2-0.

Mike Ribiero and Alexei Kovalev each added a goal, and Jose Theodore stopped all 7 shots for the shutout.

Superstar Mario Lemieux was limited to only 7 minutes. The rest of the time he was busy in the concession stands selling popcorn and nachos to try and raise money.

However, the Penguins are looking forward to having the first overall pick in the draft, and have been busy watching the World Junior Championships. "I wish I could take the entire Canadian team," Lemieux said after the game. "It'd beat this pile of losers." Reporters were surprised, but Lemieux claimed the quote was taken out of context, then quickly exited the arena.

January 5, 2005: Senators 0 - Sabres 0

The game ended in a draw after neither team showed up. "Buffalo's a shithole," Sens captain Daniel Alfreddsen said. "Do you know it's impossible to find a decent manicure place there? What are they? Animals???"

Apparently it's true, as the Sabres team refused to show up either. "C'mon, the holidays were nice, don't make us go back there right away and spoil it," Sabres goalie Martin Biron said.

The NHL threatened to fine both teams until it found out no tickets were sold for the game either. "That's about par for hockey in Buffalo these days," Biron said.

January 6, 2005: Canadiens 1 - Bruins 4

Boston won easily, but tempers flared late in the third after Alexei Kovalev dove, holding his wrist.

Joe Thornton scored a hat trick, and Nick Boynton added a goal to help the Bruins to the easy win. Montreal got a goal from Kovalev late in the game.

After scoring on a wicked wrist shot, Kovalev dropped to the ice clutching his wrist, despite no one being around him. It was enough to send Thornton nuts, and both benches cleared.

"That pansy tried to pull that shit last year in the playoffs too," Thornton said after the game. "I thought no women were allowed in the NHL."

The ACLU immediately filed a lawsuit against Thornton and the Bruins for "sexist remarks," continuing a fine tradition of useless action.

Panthers 1 - Senators 1 (OT)

Ottawa managed to tie the Panthers, which left Panthers GM Mike Keenan seething.

"How the *BLEEP* do you lose to a buncha *BLEEP*ing *BLEEP*heads??? *BLEEP*!" Keenan said before storming off.

Florida scored early with a goal from Jay Bouwmeester, which is really hard to spell. Ottawa countered with a goal from Jason Spezza, which woke the 5,000 fans in attendance.

"Holy shit, they actually scored," one fan said. "I've been waiting forever to see that in person."
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Why do you think we don't have a mascot here? We've known for years about Lemaire's mascot complex. You should see the twitch he gets when they play in Nashville.
Lemaire would be an awesome mascot. I don't know why I think that, but for some reason, I think he should. When he retires, have him running around in the stands like crazy.